6/12/2025

If Franklin D. Roosevelt was right and courage has to do with something else more important than fear, then it feels like the perfect time to consider what could be more important. Having just recently lost my father, I can say that his courage came from putting the needs of his grandchildren ahead of everything else. Working with people who have cancer, HIV or any other long-term or chronic health condition, I have observed that their courage comes from trusting and authentic relationships. Watching a child overcome their fear of sliding down the big slide, I have seen courage come from faith that someone will always catch them at the bottom of the slide.

I started writing this article about the current times we are in and how divided they feel. But, I quickly realized that even in talking about the need to move past divisive language and actions to be more united makes an assumption people value unity. So I am asking you to define for yourself – what is important to you? When do you need to have courage and take a stand for what is important to you?  How do you help others to understand what is important to you? 

Not everyone is prepared to engage in activism, organize a demonstration or even participate in a protest but we can all have the courage to have some of those difficult conversations. And, those challenging conversations may in fact create the most significant and impactful moments of change for both people in the conversation. If you find yourself in a situation that calls for a courageous conversation there are a few things you can do help create the chance for a positive outcome. First, do your homework. Make sure that you are basing your perspective on more than a social media post, what someone else said or your feelings. Take a deep breath and think critically about the information upon which you are making your “assumptions”. 

I would like to think that every conversation we have is grounded in positivity, growth and truth but the reality is many are not. When you have courage to go into a difficult conversation it is critical to know why it is important to you but also to go in with a focus on active listening. Be ready to be honest, transparent and authentic. None of us are perfect, none of us are always right and all of us feel vulnerable when someone challenges us. So if you know you are going into a difficult conversation try to be open to being vulnerable – it is uncomfortable but necessary. Question yourself, be humble and be ready to “hear” what the other person is saying. 

In graduate school when I was first learning to be a counselor, one of the most difficult skills was to stop and listen to the other person. I thought I was listening but I discovered that I was only listening to be able to share my perspective. If someone said they were feeling sad, my brain wanted to ask if they were thinking of harming themselves or others because that was what I was trained to consider. But most of the time, the person across from me was sad because of grief and loss of a relationship, they were not going to harm themselves and they truly wanted to be in a safe space to be heard. Difficult conversations are not easy but may be successful when you actively listen to “hear” the other person not to solve the problem, make an argument or even to be the most intelligent.

If one of the difficult conversations in your life has to do with who you love or who someone else loves, I encourage you to find your courage this month. June is Pride month. What is Pride month?  Pride month is a time for people to come together to celebrate the lives and accomplishments of LGBTQ persons.  Pride month reminds us that love, acceptance and respect will overcome fear each and every time.  Please come visit the PWA table at the Pride Parade and Festival on June 14th.

A favorite song of mine is the very familiar, “What the World Needs Now Is Love,” written by Burt Bacharach. 

What the world needs now is love, sweet loveNo, not just for some, but for everyone.

If I were asked what else the world needs today, I would suggest we could use more empathy. 

When I trained Customer Service Professionals who communicated with People Living with HIV, yes, I focused on their tone, courtesy phrases, and professionalism. But whatever the actual training topic was, I remained laser-focused on their expression of empathy. I knew this was key to our success. 

What did I want them to know about empathy? 

1. To understand the difference between empathy expressions and other expressions. 

• Empathy: I feel with you. – “I can appreciate why you feel that way.” 

• Sympathy: I feel for you.  – “You have my deepest sympathy.”

• Pity: I feel sorry for you.  – “Wow. You’re having so much bad luck these days.”

• Apathy: I lack emotions and concern.  – “Things happen. Life is tough.”

2. That even if you don’t “feel” empathetic, you can still share empathy expressions. 

This is especially important for those in the service professions. You may not “feel” empathetic or you may have “empathy fatigue.” Even so, you can still share empathy expressions as appropriate. This is one of the best ways to make those important human connections. Plus you will benefit from stepping outside of yourself and looking at the world from another’s point of view. 

3. That empathy is connected to your Emotional Intelligence, is a top skill for Customer Service Professionals, and is considered an important quality for your career success. 

As a member of the PWA team, let’s be the Empathy Experts. Let’s show the world what empathy sounds like and just how important empathy is for us as we provide services to people living with other chronic conditions. 

What the world needs now is (empathy and) love, sweet loveNo, not just for some, but for everyone...

(Lyrics by Burt Bacharach, adapted to include empathy)

Take a moment and imagine what we’d ask ourselves after receiving devastating health news. Will our health insurance cover this (if you have it)? Do we have a way to consistently get to our appointments? Do we have a safe place to live? Can we keep our homes if we miss work due to this? Will my friends and family be there for me?

For those we help, unfortunately those questions are met with extreme uncertainty. For this reason, PWA urges you to consider making a planned monthly donation to PWA. For as little as $30 a month, you can help heat a home in the winter and have A/C in the summer. For $50 a month you help children get a healthy breakfast each day. For $100 a month, you can help provide a housing deposit that allows a single parent to move into an apartment. 

In today’s challenging times, let’s come together to make sure that we can help as many as possible.